Hey guys, this is Sarah again, updating Colette's blog for her! Unfortunately she had to be admitted to the hospital again today by her heart doctors because they felt that she was dehydrated and needed to have a few more tests ran (boo tests!). Hopefully it will all just be an overnight thing though! She also asks that everyone pray for her this week because she has her next scan on Wednesday and the results will show her if the cancer has stayed pretty much contained or what it is doing in her body. She is a strong woman so I am sure she will be just fine, but prayer and good thoughts never hurt :)

november 23

The visit with the doctor went well. CBC was good. The platelet count is low so I have to go back on Wednesday for another check. Pray that they are going up on their own.


I did two loads of laundry but will wait to find energy to put it away. I felt good to drive myself and visit with Rhoda. God has blessed me with wonderful friends. I know some of you want to visit and I am going to try harder to see you. Thanks for all your love, support and prayers.

November 17th

Hope you are all doing well. I am very weak and tired today. Does not make sense since I saw Dr. Honeycutt yesterday and I had another liter of fluids. Enzymes are still low but CBC, and other counts are looking good. I go back again on Thursday and next Monday. Pray for the hydration so I am not so tired. Pray for strength that I may feel more energy ( any energy) would be good.

November15

Jenn, Clint and boys were here for the weekend. They left before 9. Clint has a business trip tomorrow so they needed to get home to get some things done. Ben in talking so much better. He is on the go from dawn to setting sun. Nate is getting tall. He is doing well is school and I am so proud of him.

Laundry ready for the dryer. Not sure if I will get bed made up but Barb and Paula are coming tomorrow and they will help me.

Church dinner tonight that I would love to go to but will see how the day goes and if strength increases. Pray for strength.

November12

Finally got breakfast down so I could take 10 pills. Still need to remember scopolomine patch after I clean up. Still wearing nausea pump so no shower yet. I have felt good the last two mornings. As a matter of fact I made it to CBS, lab work, change out pump an d lunch with friends,yesterday. I was gone 4 hours and was exhausted when I arrived home. Took a two hour nap and still in bed for the night by 7:30.

I have laundry going but not sure if I will get it all done . I have an appointment with DR. Crowder at 1:15 so need to conserve a little energy.

Hope all is well with each of you. God's blessings.

November 9

Hoping all of you had a better weekend than I did. In bed two and a half days. Saturday w2as me and my little pink bucket. Just could not keep anything down. Nicole & family surprised me coming Friday night and I was unable to get out of bed to play with Charli. What a disappointment. Saturday I heard hear get up and I could not do our normal routine, so back to bed and Scott watched her. It was comforting to just listen to them play. In bed all day. Saturday night I fell into the bathtub in the middle of the night. Praise God that I was not hurt and Scott and Nicole were here. Jenn & Nate arrived around 9 Sunday morning to check on me. I stayed in bed. I did get dressed and that took all my energy. I was able to sit out in the sun and watch the kids for a short while. It breaks my heart that I don't have energy to play with them, but joy in watching.


Today is my scheduled SECOND chemo treatment. Lab work at noon, doctor 12:15 a d then 5 hours of treatment. PRAYING this one does better and does nothing to my heart.

November 5

I was able to attend CBS (Bible study) yesterday. So good to receive all the love and support from God's people. A group from leadership and children's home-schoolers arrived in the afternoon and raked and bagged all the leaves in the back yard. I am so grateful as are my children.

I am tired and weak this morning so will not do much today.

November 2

I can not believe how tired I am. I have had two naps today. One before dr. visit and one after.

NO chemo this week since I need to get my strength built up. Blood work is looking better so that is a gift from God and good doctors. Jenn took me and then brought me back and left for home. She has arrived safely back home.

Running out of steam.........

Hey everyone, this is Sarah getting on here for Colette. She has had a busy day today but the good news is that she is now home and resting! She is down for a nap right now and if she feels up to it later she said she would get on here and inform you of everything the doctors said. For now, though, please don't call her to check up on her because she is just really exhausted and doesn't have the energy to talk that much but she does appreciate everyone's thoughts and concern :) She does have a doctors appointment tomorrow that Jenn is taking her to so we will see how that goes!

Laying here in the hospital bed since Wednesday, suffered a slight heart attack but everything seems to be okay. My brother Tim was here and stayed with me until today. Both of my girls came and Tony has been coming to see me every night. Chemo is on hold for the moment. We're hoping the other issues resolve themselves.

Tuesday October 27

Just a short update. The doctor office called at 3:30 yesterday and wanted me to come in for blood work. Thankfully Harry and Barb were here so they took me in. The platelet count was up to 34 and white count 2.6 2 which were improvements. I have an appointment tomorrow at 8:50 for more blood work and then will see the doctor. My brother Tim and his wife Carla are coming this afternoon so they will be able to take me. Sarah stayed again last night and helped me with a few jobs this morning before she left for classes. Pray for my energy level.

October26

God's blessings on each of you this day. May you feel His peace, joy and love.

I sure wish it would quit raining. The gloomy weather does not help with my energy level. Just want to crawl back into bed which would be the worst thing I could do. I hope to clean up my bedroom and get some clean clothes put away. I really want to move winter clothes to the front and get rid of summer clothes I did not wear all year. No sense in holding on to things I don't wear. I can always buy a few new things next year if I need to.

Saturday the platelets were up to 20 from 15 which was a good sign that bone marrow is picking up . I will call today and see what they want to do next. I am scheduled for chemo this week but think it will probably be canceled which will bum me out.

It was good to have Nicole and Charli here on the weekend. Saturday I had a lot of energy and we did a few little errands. Mostly I stayed in the car with Charli and Nicole did the running. Felt good to be out of the house.

Tony and I were able to go to the Meyer's for dinner last night. Sarah came and stayed with me. Will check with dr. to see if we can stop that since counts are up a little.

Saturday

Nicole and Charli are here. They are getting ready to take me back to Boone Hospital for blood work. I spent 6 hours there yesterday receiving 2 units of blood. My platelets counts continue to be critically low but did show slight improvement yesterday so praying they are still on the rise today. If not I will be getting platelets. We left the port open so won't have to be stuck again today which is a blessing.

I am not sure if I'll get my scheduled chemo this week because of blood issues will just have to wait and see what happens.

Blood Counts

I saw Dr. Honeycutt yesterday and blood levels for platelets, white cells and red cells were critical. I had to have someone stay with me in case I fell, so Tony volunteered and will be here again tonight.

Sylvia took me in early this morning to redo blood work. Things have not improved and I was very dizzy and weak, so they kept me for some more fluids. I feel a Little stronger and am praying by tomorrow things have turned the corner.

FIRSTS

Yesterday was a day of firsts. I went to Wal-Mart by myself for the first time in two months. It proved to be to much for me, but made it home safely. Called MaryAnne and she came quickly.
we couldn't decide what was going on so called 911. That's right my first trip by ambulance to the ER. Not very cushy. After tests, exams and CT scan determined bl odd levels were low. Tweaked some meds and home I went.

Today was my regular visit with Dr. Honeycutt and blood counts are critically low. She strongly suggested I not be alone for 48 hours. Barb is hare now and will have a friend later this afternoon, Tony early evening and a friend all night. PRAY the levels start to rebound on their own. I have to do blood work the next two days to see if I need a transfusion of platelets.

Monday, October 19

Praise God that the sun is shining! Hopefully I can get outside for at least a little while and enjoy God's creation.

I did go to KC with Harry and Barb. By the time we arrived at Jenn's, she had Ben at the doctor with a high fever. Nicole came and picked me up and I moved to her house. Friday I kept Charli since daycare was closed. By 11 she was curled up in my lap asleep. Scott came home, checked her temp (103) and called Nicole. Gave Charli meds and she stayed with me until Nicole came home. I napped, visited with Nicole waiting to hear from Jenn about Ben. His fever was down so I moved back to Jenn's. Saturday went out to lunch with Jenn and family. Then back to her house for a nap. Nicole's came for dinner that night so was fun to watch kids play together. Nate is sick now. PRAY that I don't get whatever they all had.

When I got home I realized my furnace is not working so have repairman here now. I was able to get fireplace going this morning so it has taken the chill off the house.


I am low on energy so pray for increased ambition and then peace to rest as needed. I feel as if I need to push myself just a little but hard to balance.

October 15

Yesterday was rough. I was SICK. I called cancer center and was asked to come in for an IV. Barb and Paula came to the house and helped me get to town. Pastor Julia met us there. I did lab work. It came back with a low white count and low potassium levels. I am to increase that med. I received a liter of fluids, meds for nausea and anxiety. I had to use the wheelchair to get into the building but was able to walk out on my own power. I was actually hungry for supper and did eat. I did not sleep well so am a little tired today. I also spoke with the social worker and she was pleased with the work I am doing with my counselor.

Barb and Harry have invited me to go to Kansas City this afternoon for the weekend. I NEED to be with people and to see my grand children. Pray this morning for me to have clarity of thought about what will be best for me.

October 13

A new day, a chance for a new beginning, may I use it in obedience to God my Savior. I spent the morning in quiet prayer and journaling. When things get rough I tend to run from journaling. I should know by now that setting my thoughts to words can be helpful, even if my thoughts are not positive. Something about getting it out in writing helps me. My counselor gave me an assignment to release my anger, to own the cancer (surrender) and to find reason to give thanks to God. Because I am a control freak admitting I am not in control of this dreadful disease is almost impossible for me to do. I had so many plans for my future and now am afraid to hope. Pray for me. For each of you who continue to offer prayers for me I give thanks. May God bless you bountifully.

1 Down 5 to go

Sorry I did not write yesterday, but am having a hard time with depression. If I just pull the covers up tight and lock out the world maybe this will go away..... I had a hard time getting out of bed this morning, of course it does not help that it is raining and a good day to snuggle in.

Yesterday went well as I was enveloped with love from the MCA staff. They were shocked and saddened to see me back in 8 weeks. The treatment went well and I was home shortly after 2. I have the nausea pump on and am doing fine with that. Rested in the afternoon with a short nap. Last night was my first sleepless night. Finally went to sleep around 3. In the past when that happened I would pray for others but now can't keep my mind centered on even a single thought. This is so frustrating.

At 2 today MaryAnne is taking me to my therapist. I need help getting my thought patterns in order and not waste a single moment of this gift of life. Praying Lexapro kicks in soon.

CHEMO

I visited with Dr. Honeycutt this afternoon and the biopsy indicated the same form of sarcoma in lymph nodes around my spine. I will begin chemo Wednesday at 8:15 until 1;30. It is only one day a week and then I have three weeks off. The drug they will be trying this time is Taxol. I will still wear an anti-nausea pump for three days to see if we can get my vomiting under control. I am exhausted, weepy and angry that this has happened so quickly. PRAY for this drup to work and it might buy me a couple years.

CHEMO

CT Biopsy

Pastor Julia called early morning to pray with me. Barb came around 9 and prayed. I was frightened and not sure if I wanted to do the test, but knew in my heart I need answers.

I had an IV placed in my right hand instead of the port since I laid on my stomach for 45 minutes. They did scans and then gave me Verstaid for pain. I was awake for the procedure but felt no pain. It took about 25 minutes. I was then taken to recovery for two hours. Barb and Pastor Julia were with me and that helped the time pass. I have no pain. I was home by 2, ate lunch (delicious pea soup), took a nap. Tony is here with me.

Thank you for all your prayers and thoughts today and yesterday on my birthday.

NEWS

I've had a rough morning with upset stomach. Trying to eat a little something now. I am so tired, but truly think it is a depression and am grateful that they have increaded my meds to help with that. Too bad it takes up to two weeks to kick in.

Dr. Honeycutt called yesterday afternoon to discuss the next steps. We decided I would go to Boone Hospital on Thursday and have a biopsy of nodes in my back(right side) through a CT biopsy. Not sure what this will mean but less invasive than surgtery. It is outpatient so should be home in the afternoon. We changed my appointment for consultation until Monday afternoon when the results should be in. I am having pain on upper thigh of left leg so scheduled for an MRI next Thursday. PRAYING it heals itself and I can cancel that due to my claustrophobia.

It is impossible to explain to you how I am doing. One minute, I am nearly hysterical, the next very angry, the next grateful that we did the treatments we have already done. I am afraid. I am so blessed to have so many people who love me. The Meyer family and Tony surprised me on Sunday evening for an early birthday celebration. Barb was here yesterday when I received the call and stayed so I could rest. MaryAnne came in afternoon and just held me and prayed. Debbie and Barb were here on Sunday and we celebrated the Lord's Supper together. God has been so good to me and I pray each of you can feel His continual presence in His life.

Saturday, Setember26

God's blessings on each of you. May you feel his love, protection and provision. I am especially praying those things for myself, as yesterday I was told the cancer is back in a lymph nod close to the spine. I was shocked and devastated and am still reeling from this new information. I meet with Dr. Honeycutt next Friday to determine a course of action. Please pray for wisdom and God's guiding on what needs to be done. As you can imagine I am very fragile at this point so pray for my spiritual life, my emotions, and that I may find peace.

SICK/Sept 24

I have been running a fever since yesterday afternoon. I was nauseuos this morning so it was hard to lay still. I had a melt down,putting it mildly. This was supposed to be so easy and it had been anything but. I saw Diane radiaqtion doctor's nurse. She tracked down Dr. Honeycutt and I had to have an exam. She ordered port check, chest x-ray, CBC, then two separate blood cultures, then a CAT scan where I had to drink a quart of cherry tasting stuff. They did tell me if I was getting cick to stop and they went ahead and did the test. I promptly vomited. I am to take a stool culture in tomorrow. And they just called and want a urine culture tomorrow. I am so TIRED.

Pray for all those working with me and that I may feel stronger each day. She also suggested I start seeing my therapist again. Just too much to sort out.

September 17

Praise be to God for a beautiful fall morning. It was breezy and crisp when I left at 7 AM for my appointment. I have now been moved to the first slot of the day which helps me. I was back home in one hour which helps me with my day planning.

Yesterday I saw the doctor and my blood work is good. Still running low grade fever but they can't find a reason, so life goes on. I went to Community Bible Study for the first time and it was great to be back in my special group. They were all so glad to see me and it touched my heart. I had lunch with Barb, Paula and Pat. We shared a lot of laughs and it felt good to be out. It did tire me a little so came home and rested for a short while.

This week I received an inspiring encouragement from a sister in Christ that I have never met. She too has fought sarcoma and has been a strong prayer warrior on my behalf. She encouraged me and filled me with a Godly perspective of what I am feeling right now. I felt engulfed in love and support. It fascinates me how God sends His earthly angels to touch our lives when we are at our weakest. Praise be to God for this special woman. May you bless her life with health, joy and peace in You.

September 15

Praise be to God for a new day and a new beginning with Him. I am feeling better today. The blood work was all normal, so they think I am just picking up a virus. Hope to have more energy and look to tomorrow.

September 14

The fever came back last night. I had dry heaves this morning and am feeling weak. I did do treatment and then was seen by the doctor. He can't find anything wrong but did order blood work. I did not sleep last night so went back to bed when I came home this morning. Just made a cup of coffee and hoping it tastes good and helps with a headache that is lingering.

I continue to offer all this to the Lord in prayer. May I rest in His arms.

GOOD DAY

Yesterday was one of the hardest I have had in a long time. I talked with three people who each in their own way gave me words of encouragement. One suggested I needed to remember that I was human and what I was experiencing was very normal. One asked if I had taken any anxiety meds and of course I fight that. One suggested I allow myself to be in the moment and not run away from it. I prayed and took half an anxiety pill and nausea STOPPED. What does that say? I am feeling mach stronger today. I have done some yard work, cleaned bathroom and done vacuuming. I have had a salad and sandwich for lunch and it tasted good. I laughed as I read a special card from my CBS family. God is good.

Thank you for all your words of encouragement and prayers.

September 10

God's blessings to each of you. May you encounter Him as you faithfully live out His call to you.

Yesterday it took me 2 hours to mow the yard. I am still having some nausea but thought I wanted to try and keep myself busy. It felt good to be outside and in the fresh air. I have a mole in the back yard so need to move some dirt this weekend.

Today, I was sick when I got up but am doing better now. Treatment went fine. I did see doctor Tuesday and they ordered a UA culture which was fine. If I am not feeling better tomorrow I will see doctor again. I really think it is psychological. I am still dreading walking through the door everyday. I pray for God's peace and that is the only way I can make myself go in there. I am shocked and disappointed in myself for not being able to pull it all together. Chemo was so hard and I made it. I can do this too.

Labor Day

Good morning to you! I have three loads of laundry going and would like to do my bedding but will see when the fog lifts so I can hang it outside. Don't have any special plans for the day.

PRAY for me as I am having vomiting, nausea, and abdominal pain with a pretty intense backache. I believe that is in relation to radiation. Will talk to doctor about it this week. I am having a hard time just going into the building everyday. I know it is all in my head but can't seem to get my thoughts straigthened out. The actual treatment is easy but not sure about the rest of it.

Wednesday

I met with Dr. Bryer today after radiation. He was checking vitals and to see how I was feeling. I told him I thought I was going through a period of readjustment to new treatments and he assured me that that was common. No side effects to his point. He will check on me once a week.

I woke up with sinus headache today so have not felt real perky. I just got up from a two hour nap. I am feeling better and hope that continues.

Radiation therapy

Today was my first radiation treatment. I only have 27 more to go. I will be going everyday at 9:30 for about half an hour. If all goes well I should be finished by October 8th. Thank you for your prayers today as laying still for a half hour was not to bad.

I did Wal-Mart before going to center so still need to put some groceries away. Take care.

HOME SAFELY

I arrived home around 9:30 this morning. I had enough time to unpack, rest for a bit and head back to town for appointments. I had lab work done which proved to be good results. I saw Dr. Honeycutt and don't go back until mid November. I had my port cleaned. I met with Dr. Allen, a radiologist to plan radiation treatments. I had a CAT scan, permanent markings put on my body and start radiation on Monday at 12:30. I will have 28 treatments. All in all I had a good day, but am very tired tonight.

I have book study here at 8:30 tomorrow morning. It will be so good to be together again.

Nicole's sonogram went well yesterday. She is 20 weeks. The fetus looks good with no problems that they could detect.

I had a great time with all the grand kids and have a lot of stories. Not sure when I will get back there to visit.

Pray for me on Monday as I have to lay still for half an hour. May God bless each of you as you continue to serve Him.

Wednesday, August 19

I had a dentist appointment today. All went well. I am feeling very tired and not sure why so have had a lazy afternoon. I hope to mow tomorrow while it is cooler.

I am leaving for a few days to go visit the girls. I will take off Friday morning and return in time for two doctor appointments on Thursday. Yesterday was Jenn's birthday so we will celebrate while I am there. Nicole has a sonogram late Wednesday so will pick up Charli from daycare so she can go see pictures of her new sibling.

Hoping you are all well. I will try to write at least once while I am gone.

Thursday, August 13,2009

I had an appointment with Dr. Crowder, my surgeon, today. All went well and she seemed very pleased with healing from surgery. She was glad that I made it through all 6 chemos. I see her again on November 12.

I did not feel very good after I arrived home. She did tell me to expect to deal with nausea off and on for the nest few months. It is reassuring to know that what I am feeling is normal. Please pray for an increase in energy and strength as the days go by.

CHEMO COMPLETED

Praise be to God for His strength and peace as I completed round 6 yesterday. I had a rough start early morning with emotional issues. Calls to four friends and prayers sustained me. I have pump change this morning and then taken off for the last time on Monday morning. I slept from7 PM until 5 this morning. Am tired already but need to get dressede for the day. May God bless each of you with peace and joy this dady and always.

LAST DAY

Sorry I did not blog last night. I was very tired and was in bed again by 7 pm up this morning by 5. Feeling a little on the rough side with nausea. Will probably have to take some meds soon.

PRAY that I have an easy day and can relax and not be so tense. I am not sure what my problem is. I should be excited and not tied in knots. May God's peace be on me this very moment and fill me to overflowing calm and rest.

Weird

I slept 12 hours last night. That is about 6 more than normal. Pray that vitlas are good today. I have a rash on my chest which was not there last night. Now what????

Tuesday

It was a very long day. I did not hooked up until after nine so did not finish until after 4. I did have a few visitors but spent most of the day sleeping. I am very tired tonight and not sure why. Will be getting ready for bed soon.

Monday, August 3

My visit with Dr. Honeycutt went well. My blood work continues to be good, so will go ahead with treatment starting tomorrow. This is the 6th session so praise God that all is still going well. I am feeling anxious this afternoon and having slight nausea which is psychological. I am praying that God will give me peace, strength and a good nights sleep. Thank you all for your faithful prayers as I continue with this journey.

Monday. July 27

I am sitting in my dining room looking out on my beautiful backyard. It has been so wonderful to have the house open and hear the birds singing. Praise be to God for all His gifts to me.

The grand kids were all here this weekend and it fills me with such joy and wonder. They are so much fun to watch and play with. I wish I had half their energy.

I was planning on leaving today for KC to help Jenn with the boys but am going to rest today and leave in the morning. I will be back by Friday. Nate will be riding home with me and then Grammie will meet us here and he will be going to their home for a few days.


Thank God for each day a gift.

Sunday July 19th

God's blessings to each of you on this gloriously beautiful day. I love this cool breeze floating through my dining room as I sit at the computer. I am doing well and having only slight nausea. I did a little yard work yesterday and cut out the final pieces for Charli Ann's rag quilt. May even start sewing on it today. Thank you all for all your love, support and prayers.

Friday Morning

I have been up since 6. Had a good nights sleep. I have started to feel a little nauseous so just gave myself some meds. I go in at 11 to have the Mezna pump off and get the anti-nausea pump put on. Praise God for the meds that make this a little easier.

Wednesday

Very groggy tonight. Slept most of the day at chemo. No nausea.

Home

The new regime made me very tired. I slept almost all day. I will take the new drugs before I go to bed and hopefully will still sleep tonight. Sarah will be staying all night.

Don't want to go

I am ready to leave but struggling with just the idea. Why is it so hard for me to be at peace? I did not sleep well last night so maybe will sleep a lot today after AI get hooked up. I have a light lunch packed, trying to be a little more cautious with what I eat this week. Will try and check in tonight.

Round 5

Tomorrow I begin round 5 of my chemo treatments. Sarah will be hanging out with me tomorrow, Barb on Wednesday and Amanda on Thursday. Amanda has been working and in classes and is off this week so this will be her first chance to spend some time with me.

I saw Dr. Honeycutt on Friday and she was very pleased with how well I have done. My labs all look good which is s gift from God. She has changed the regime for nausea control so will see how that works this time.

I had a good weekend. Linda and I went to town on Saturday to pick up new drugs, out to lunch and then home for a two hour nap. It was so hot that it felt good to just be in the air conditioned house. I did make it to worship on Saturday evening which really lifted my spirits. Yesterday I did a load of laundry, rested and went to the Meyer's for dinner. Today I have my bedding drying out on the clothesline and plan on mowing this afternoon after the grass gets dry. All in all I am doing well but am anxious to get this week behind me.

Pray for God's peace, joy and strength as I face this new week.

Carpet Cleaner for hire!

Just finished cleaning the carpet in the living room and hallway. Can't believe how dirty it was. I planned on cleaning it last November when I broke my foot so it was overdue. Tony helped move furniture last night. I have fans going and hope it is dry enough to move things back this evening.

I have showered and will now rest most of the day. I am crocheting a baby blanket for Nicole's new baby (due in January). I hope they can use it for the baptism. I will go outside for a little while before it gets to hot. Disappointed that the weather is going to get hot again. I hate having the air on, but can't sleep at night if it is to hot.

Monday, July 6th

Still in my nightgown. I slept in this morning and am having a slow moving day.

I had a great weekend with the kids. It was so much fun to watch Ben and Charli play together. Of course they had their moments of disagreement and even that is cute. Charli liked the few fireworks we did as long as she wore headphones. Ben did NOT care for them at all. We had a nice evening with the Meyer family, good food, lots of laughs and unfortunately no fireworks due to rain. I did go to worship Saturday evening and was blessed by the beauty of the service. It was so good to get hugs from so many people. I hope to go again next weekend.

I am having a good week and hope to have more energy tomorrow. Plan on going to movie with Carolyn on Wednesday. Hope to do lunch with Julia and Barb on Friday after my doctor appointment.

Thursday, July 2, 20009

I apologize for not writing this week. For the most part all has been going well. I am much more tired this time. When I get up in the morning I feel strong and full of energy but by lunch time am pretty much out of steam.

We did have our small group book study yesterday morning (8 AM). After that Barb and I went over to the city park to 'pray and play' with Community Bible Study folks. It was great to see everyone and catch up. We did not stay for lunch since I was tired. Rested in the afternoon and spent time remembering Chuck and all the birthday celebrations we had for him. He would have been 60 yesterday.

Today, the repairman came fro the dishwasher, the yard guy came to treat the grass and I needed to go to Wal-Mart. I planned on going by myself but by 9 made a call to Sarah and she came out and took me. We did have a nice lunch with her mom, Mary, and a friend,Doris. 12:15 Mary suggested I needed to get home and rest, I was exhausted. Sarah took care of everything and I laid down. Feeling better now and hope to get some things done this evening.

Jenn & Ben are arriving tomorrow as is Nicole & her family. Scott is going to do some odd jobs while Tony and girls work on the yard. Can't wait to see the grand kids. Nate is at his grandparents in Kirksville with his dad so we will miss them.

I will try to do a better job of keeping you posted.

Friday, June 26, 2009

I am out of bed, dressed, had two bites of muffin, and sipping a milk cup of coffee. I am still wobbly and using the walker, Sarah is still here and will help me out today. I slept12 hours which is an unheard of thing for me. Hopefully transition to next pump will go well at 11AM.

Thank you for all your prayers.

I am having a rough night tonight with vomiting and nausea. I am staying home tonight and just resting, trying to stay out of this heat. Pray for me. Sarah is going to stay all night with me tonight.

Wednesday, June23

I am very tired this evening. The vomiting started while I was still at the clinic they gave me med. I came home and sleepy for two hours. I had a small amount of dinner and was just ill again. I am weak so have the walker out to use. I have called Sarah ans she Will arrive shortly to spend the night.

Pray That I may be blessed tomorrow with renewed energy, Increased physical tolerance and JOY in the Lord.

Tuesday

Today was very long. I arrived at MCA at 8:15 and did not leave there until after 4. I am very tired and a little wobbly tonight. Praise God that someone is bringing dinner. I am sure I will go to bed early. I am also having hot flashes to go along with this terrible heat we are enduring. No shower for a week so will make do with sponge baths. I did sleep last night and that was an answer to prayer. I love all of you and pray God's blessings for you and your families.

Treatment 4

I begin my fourth treatment cycle tomorrow. I will be soooo glad when all of this is over. I am having a hard time getting myself psyched up for this. I need prayers for peace, sleep and trust in the Lord.

Nicole & family visited this last weekend and it was so much fun. It helps to keep my mind busy and occupied. Charli wanted to talk to Ben on Saturday and of course he was outside playing. It was so cute that she was missing him.

May God bless each of you with all of life's best.

Hope you enjoy!

Home

I arrived back home yesterday afternoon. Cathie found out after we arrived that she had to go to work this morning. It was a great weekend and it was fun to be with all the kids and Cathie. I am tired and will rest today. Hope this finds all of you well.

ROAD TRIP

I am leaving tomorrow with Clint's mom, Cathie, for a road trip to Olathe to visit the kids and grand kids. Cathie lives in Kirksville and she will stop to pick me up. We always have a good time together. Nate will be finishing up VBS and we will pick him up at 3:30. He will be surprised to see us. Jenn has a job interview at that time so pray for God's wisdom and timing for her. We will celebrate Clint's birthday this weekend. I will be back Monday afternoon.

Saturday, June 5,2009

I have just moved away from scripture time to time with each of you. Spending time with the Lord reminds me of all the earthly angels He has sent to me and that would be YOU. May God bless each of you with what you need. May you find your strength, peace and joy in Him.

I have had breakfast of fried egg, toast, coffee and juice. I will be cleaning up and dressing after I get this posted. I hope to sit outside today and enjoy the beauty of God's creation. I would like to cut out some quilt blocks from flannel that Denise gave me a year or so ago. Just will see how the day proceeds.

THE PUMP MALFUNCTIONED AGAIN YESTERDAY. Option Care came out to the house and replaced it with a new pump. It did not beep during the night so that was a relief. My knees are not as wobbly as they have been in the past so that is a blessing.

Hope you all have a great weekend.

HALF WAY DONE!

Praise be to God, my Father, my Savior, my Friend who has walked with me through all of my life and continues to support me. Glory be to God.

Yesterday I was exhausted and very weepy. Have not had one of those days in a while so surprises me when I do. Part of it I was still tired from earlier in the week. I fell asleep in my chair by 7 last night so got up and went to bed. Of course I was awake from 2 AM, so just dozing off and on. I don't feel as weak this morning
as I have in the past which is a blessing. I have an appointment at 10:30 to change out the pump for the weekend and will come home and rest some more.

Rough Day

Last night was one of little sleep and a lot of frustration. I wear a pump around my waist that drips Mezna into me for 72 hours. It started beeping a warning at 10:30 last night. I called the person who was to troubleshoot it and received no help. Every time a dose was sent the alarm would sound for 45 seconds. By 2 AM it was sounding continuously. I checked and meds were still going in. At 4 AM I finally covered it with a pillow and slept until 7:15. I am exhausted. They took out the needle from portra-cath and inserted a longer one and it seems to have fixed the problem. I had also gained 5 pounds since yesterday, so they gave me IV Lasix, which meant many trips to the bathroom. PRAY that I sleep tonight.

Paula and Deb came by for lunch. They always make me feel better. Willie stopped and brought some of her wonderful mints. Pastor Julia made it by before she leaves for a meeting tomorrow. Barb brought a delicious dinner tonight.

I am feeling a little light headed and a tiny bit nauseous so will try to get ready for bed early. Tomorrow is usually my roughest day. I am dreading it. I hate feeling so weak and tired. Hopefully it will pass quickly.

Monday, June 1, 2009

Is it ever going to quit raining? So glad I got my yard done yesterday. Lydia mowed the front and I did the back after my appointment and a nap. Tony came early to help me but I was already finished. Flower gardens need the moisture but then the weeds are just going to grow thicker and faster.

Dr. Honeycutt was very pleased with all my blood counts and how well I am doing. She complimented me on my positive attitude and moving forward. I have gained 9 pounds and she suggested I try and be more careful with what I eat. It is hard because the week of and the week after chemo they want you to eat something every two hours.

Today went well except it was very long.....Barb brought me Jimmy John's for lunch so it was great to visit with her. I did not get finished until after 3:30 and home by 4. I am very tired so will crash early. Paula will be visiting tomorrow around lunch time. I usually nap around 1PM. Only two more and I will be half way. God is good.He fills me with peace and joy in Him. I thank Him for all of you and the gifts your thoughts and prayers are.

Sunday, May 31

Nate left today with Charli Ann & Nicole. He had a good week but was anxious to see Ben and his folks. He had a lot of questions about how I got cancer. I told him I just didn't know. He told me he prays for me often which is a real joy to me.

Charli Ann had big news for me. When she arrived Friday night she was wearing a t-shirt that said, "I am a big sister." Nicole & Scott are expecting a new baby in January and are so excited. They do covet your prayers for a safe and healthy pregnancy.

I see Dr. Honeycutt at 1 PM tomorrow and start treatments at 8:30 TUESDAY. Also will be there Wednesday and Thursday. Sarah will be driving me for all appointments until August when she returns to college. It is such a comfort to have her helping me out with errands and a little house work. Nicole is planning on coming Friday evening to hang out over the weekend.

I will try and blog often but will have to see how tired I am. Thank you all for all your love, support and prayers.

Rain, rain go away!

Nate is a little bored with all the rain. I was hoping today would be better but sounds like more rain is coming. He plans on staying and going home with Nicole & Charli on Sunday.

We had a great weekend with Jenn, Ben and Nate. We had friends over for dinner on Sunday which was a lot of fun.

Great Week

Sorry I have not sent out anything but have been feeling so good that I have been on the go. Each day I had a project or was invited to go out of the house. Tuesday, Sarah was here and helped with cleaning the patio furniture and kept an eye on me while I mowed. I did get all of side and backyard done by myself. She took over and did all of the front. I just ran out of energy. I also did laundry and hung out two loads of clothes. Sarah brought them in for me which was a big help. Wednesday I rested. Thursday Linda invited me to ride along as she did some furniture shopping. We had a great time but by 1PM I was ready to come home and rest. Today Sarah came and the two of us did Wal-Mart and Sam's. That was a big relief for me to get stocked up on things again. We took lunch to her mom and then I came home to lay down. She put everything away so I did not have to do it. I am VERY tired tonight and will get ready for bed soon. I am so grateful that I have had such energy in the mornings and smart enough to rest when I need to.

Jenn and the boys are coming for the weekend, arriving tomorrow. I have not seen them since Easter so anxious to see how much Ben has grown. Nate will be staying for a week with me. He always stays in the summer and since I am doing well decided now would be a good time for a visit. Sarah will be here everyday so that will be a help. Nate finished kindergarten this week and will be in 1rst grade come August. He is growing up way to fast.

Nicole and family would like to come but Charli has a cold so will see how she is doing in the morning.

Thank each of you for all your love, support and prayers. A special thanks to Denise who helped me work through a difficult time on Tuesday evening. I LOVE you and am blessed that you are my sister and my friend.

Hope you enjoy!

Monday, May 18th

Today is Nicole & Scott's 7th wedding anniversary. Oh, how our lives have changed since that very special celebration of love and new promise. God has always walked with each of us even if we thought we had been abandoned. I still miss Chuck but am so glad that he is in heaven and praying for each of us. He loved me dearly and I loved him even with his tiny faults.

Yesterday was better than last time. I rested in the afternoon and Tony and I were able to got o the Meyer's for dinner. Wlat and Sarah fixed a great meal since Mary is on crutches since having foot surgery on Thursday. Walt and I were able to beat Tony & Sarah in a game of pitch.

Sarah will be here at 9:30 to taske me to chermo infusion center to have nausea pump removed. I can't wait to take a shower.

More tiny pieces of hair came out this weekend. It seems so strange to see such a white scalp. What hair is left makes it uncomfortable to wear a hat or scarf so for now am just going as I am.

Hope to do yard work with Sarah this afternoon. Just will have to see how tired I am when we get home.

God's blessings on each of you. I felt your prayers and thoughts as I rested this weekend ande am so grateful.

Saturday, May 16,2009

I am laying in bed resting and so glad I have a laptop, so I could drop you all an update. Last night was good. No nausea to speak of and slept fairly well. Tim did stay until this morning which was a great help. It was nice to have some time together.

Mostly he was my means of transportation and did a lot of little things around here. (Like cleaning the garage)!!!! He also mowed and cooked dinner last night with Tony.

I am listening to a CD of religious hymns from Marla. It is beautiful.

Time for a nap.

1/3 FINISHED

Today was another good day. I did have nausea but was much more faithful about taking the medicine at the right times. They gave me some IV ativan just before I left so am headed to bed for a nap.

I go back at 11:30 tomorrow for a new nausea pump for the weekend. I will also get the Neulasta shot for bone marrow and white cells.

I LOVE you all........

5 Down 13 to Go

Today was a good day. I had a lot of visitors late morning and early afternoon. That really helps time to go faster. I did some reading, knitting and of course a short nap.

I am feeling a little weak this evening so will take it easy and rest. After tomorrow I will be 1/3 of the way done.

4 Down and 14 to Go

Today went well with chemo. My brother, Tim, stayed with me all day. We are both tired of sitting. Pastor Julia and my friend, Patti dropped by for a short visit. I ate a better lunch and then took an hour nap. I was finished a little after 3 so am pleased to be home.

Thank you for all your support, love , thoughts and prayers. Just think by Friday I will be 1/3 of the way done. Praise be to God.

Chemo Round 2

Bald is beautiful! No hair to curl, brush or wash and style. Using a lint roller as the stubble itches so it picks up pieces that are ready to fall out. It was a special event as I sat in the driveway on Saturday evening with Tony ready to start styling. I think they got pictures in various stages. I hope to have someone come over and get them on here so you can enjoy too. Nicole, Scott and even Charli took turns making me beautiful. One of my young college friends received a text from someone who drove by while we were in the process. He wanted to know what was going on at the Anderson's was I okay. Thought that was pretty sweet that a young high school person who I have never met was concerned. Nicole came with me when I went to the bathroom to look for the first time. I will admit that I broke down and sobbed. What a shock even though I had tried to prepare myself emotionally. I am doing alright now and have only worn a ball cap when I worked in the yard yesterday. I do have an appointment with doctor this afternoon and then a memorial service to attend so not sure what I will do. It'll be a surprise!

My brother Tim, a retired grade school principal, will be arriving this evening to be my support this week. I am so grateful that he is able to come and be with me. I start tomorrow morning at 8:30. I covet your prayers for the treatments I will receive this week. Pray that the nausea and weakness will be easier for me to handle this time. I am asking God to bless me again with those great days during the two weeks off.

I will try to do updates. If there is nothing here, it is time for continual prayer for strength, peace and surrender. I desire to be His and to trust and obey even during hard times.

I love each of you.

BALD is beautiful????

I will be finding out this weekend if bald is beautiful. I have also heard that God made a few perfect heads the rest He covered with hair. Maybe I will fall into a perfect catergory for the firwst time. My hair began falling out yesterady afternoon. My head was tingling all day. As the wind hit my head as I drove to town with the window down I found hair falling into my eyes and around my face. I believe this is just a new beginning in my healing process.

Some of you know how I dislike the word "process". In the past it has meant that I was facing what appeared to be an insurmontable obstacle. It meant tears, sorrow, fear and a reinvention of myself for the next faze of my life. It meant facing all those things and hard work. Now I know those times of "process" were a preparation for what was to come. I am better preapred to face this trial head on and go forward in love, joy and peace.

Tuesday, May 5

Praise be to God for increasing energy.

Nicole and family were here for the weekend and we got a few jobs done. Scott mowed the front yard and I mowed the back. I can't tell you how good it felt to be able to do that. Nicole gave me a few rest periods, which did help. We also did get Wal-Mart done. I could not believe how tired I was after that trip. Scott and Nicole carried in all the bags and helped get everything put away. So glad I did not have to do that by myself.

I plan on going to Community Bible Study tomorrow as it is our last regular class. I am going to miss all those who I have studied with this year. I am signed up to go back in the fall.

Time to get laundry finished up. Praying each of you feel God's blessings this day.

YIPPEE

Can not believe it but the "old Colette" is baaaaack. I woke up feeling great. Praise be to God. Thank all of you who continue to pray for me and lift positive thoughts on my behalf.

I have an appointment with Dr. Honeycutt late morning. I am so pleased to be feeling so much stronger with no other problems. Hoping to lunch with a friend afterwards.

I have on a new outfit that was my mom's down two sizes from two months ago. I alomost got rid of it last year but am glad I still have it. An awful way to lose weight.

Mayu each of you be mightily blessed this day with joy in the Lord.

HOORAY! It is Monday.

Praise be to God for all His provisions for me this last week. He walks with me daily. But don't get me wrong I am having a hard time surrendering all that is happening to me. Pray for me.

Friday when I went in to have the pump taken off I was experiencing severe nausea. As a treatment a new pump was ordered with anti-nausea drugs and Benadryl and Lorazapan. The nausea meds hyped me up high enough that I could not sleep at all Friday evening. Thus Saturday was a day of exhaustion, weakness and generally feeling bad. Yesterday was much better. Today I had the pump removed, went out to lunch with Linda and came home to rest,so far so good.

I am hoping that by tomorrow I will feel a little better and have more energy.

3 Down 15 to go

Arrived nausous so received meds immdeiately to help with that. After an hour Decadron was also given for nausea. It did help but made me very groggy. My neighbor and friend , Sylvia, brought me .I sent her home so I could rest. Patti and Rhoda stopped by fro a few minutes at lunch time. Another long nap, then Pastor Julia stopped and Sylvia came back. We had prayer and devotional time. I was finished a little after 3 but nausea was pretty intense so was given meds for the trip home.I slept almost all efening getting up to eat a small meal. MaryAnne came to say night time prayers with me since I was already in bed (8:30). I slept through all my shows and woke up at 2 , so have been catnapping since then. Thinking about laying down again now.

Sylvia will take me back in at 10 this morning to have pump removed and get my shot of Neulasta. Then I should be done for two weeks except for a checkup with dr, next Friday.

2 Down and 16 to go

I had a good day, but the ride home made me nauseous. The driver, my sister in Christ, MaryAnne was not the reason, just seemed to be the motion. I called the infusion center back at 4 and they told me what to take. I have been laying down and resting and am feeling a little better. Am very glad that tomorrow is the last one.

In the morning I will be taking one pill for nausea that cost me $23. I sure hope that works for what it costs. I think it could be a little rougher day. They do also run through an IV of meds to help with that.

I miss you all and I know some of you called this evening but I was not up to talking on the phone. May God grant us all a great night of rest in Him.

1 Down 17 to go!

First of all let me assure all of you that I feel like I did when I left the house this morning. GOOD! Barb and Julia came to the house and prayed with me at 7:30. Barb and I left for chemo at 8 for an 8:30 appointment. They ran a full IV of saline through before starting chemo. They already had run through a nausea drug and started the pump for medicine to protect my urinary tract. Patti stopped for a short visit and brought me some great tops with V neck line so they can get to the port easier. Karon stopped for a few minutes at noon and I sent Barb home. I slept for about 40 minutes and read a book. By 3:30 I was finished with treatment. The nurse attached the pump for me to wear for the next 72 hours. It contains more of the urinary tract med. We'll do this again the next two days. Friday I go back in the afternoon to have the pump removed.

Thank you for all your prayers, love and support. Pray that I can sleep with this pump that makes a sound like a Polaroid camera about every 45 seconds. Pray that the nausea stays away.

Trip

Sure wish the title of this blog was about me going somewhere, but no such luck. Yesterday morning while showering I became slightly dizzy and found myself on the bathroom floor. No smart comments from those of you who think I am always a little on the dizzy side. What an experience as the shower curtain had followed me and the floor soon became quite wet. Imagine trying to get yourself up while swimming in water on a slick floor. Worst part was I had to get back in and finish my hair. I am fine, no broken bones just damaged pride. Will try to shower in the evening now while Tony is still in the house. God is good and allows me to be brought low so I can glorify Him.

Thursday, my brother Tim, his wife Carla, son, Ryan & his wife Stephanie with new baby Heath in tow arrived in time for dinner. My brother, Pat, had arrived around 2pm just in time to mow my grass. Yesterday Stephanie and Heath hung out with me while others played golf at Eagle Knoll. Heath is five months so just started scooting and not getting very far. Fun to watch. They are all staying in Columbia.

Monday will be a busy day. I have an 11 AM appointment for a haircut; an appointment at noon with my counselor and a 1:45 appointment with the oncologist is prepartion for the rest of next week.

May God bless you. Thank you for all the prayers and warm wishes.

Chemo Education

God has His hands full as He deals with my pride and control issues. As you know I had chemo education yesterday. It lasted alsmost two hours. I had told people that I was going to do this myself. God in His goodness led my friend Karon to tell me , "I am going with you." I know I am supposed to allow others in so I agreed. God is so smart! As soon as they told me I would be spending a minimum of 6 hours a day, Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday at the clinic receiving treatments, I zoned out. I was again overwhelmed and felt like running away. Karon took notes asked questions and surrounded me with her love and support. Thank you Karon!

Good news, no nausea the last two mornings, what a relief!

Porta-cath

Everything went well this morning with the surgical implant of the port. I arrived at the office around 8:30 and left the office by 11. I am sore in the left shoulder and , oh darn, I can't vacuum again. I am to take it ease for the next three days so will see what my energy level is like in the morning as to what I get done.

I have a 2:30 appointment tomorrow for lab work and chemo education. My friend, Karon, will be going with me since I have a very hard time listening and concentrating.

May God grant to each of us His blessings as we faithfully follow where He leads.

CHANGE

My appointment for porta-cath is tomorrrow at 9AM. Sounds much better to me than fasting until noon. PRAY

HOME SAFELY

I arrived home about half an hour ago. I forgot my luggage and meds at Jenn's so had to go back which added abother 45 minutes to my morning. I will try and get some rest this afternoon. Lots happened while I was with the girls so will try to catch you up.

I arrived safely Thursday even though I drove over half was in torrential rain. Jenn, Nicole, Nate and I went to Holy THursday service together. It was beautiful. I stayed at Nicole's that night and Friday. About 10 PM they recieved a phone call telliong them that Scott's mother had died. She has been ill off and on for a while but this came as a surprise. I was glad that I was there for the kids.

Friday morning, Nicole, Charli and I were at Children's Mercy before 7. We left there at 9 WITHOUT her having the test done. They heard some wheezing so decided to put it off until the 24th. Nicole did get ther in to her regular dr. and Charli has a double ear infection and some congestion in her lungs. She is taking an antibiotic and two allergy meds. She was also given an nebulizer for flying on Saturday to Virginia. She did travel well. Nicole is sick now so pray for her.

The visitaion for Scott's mom in 6-9 PM today and funeral at 6 PM tomorrow evening. Please pray for them.

Tomorrow I am scheduled to receive the porta-cath sometime in the afternoon. NPO from midnight tonight. I have not been hungry so figure tomorrow hunger will kick in. Pray for the procedure.

Easter Blessings

If all goes well at y 1:45PM appointment with Dr. Crowder I will be leaving for KC for Easter with my girls and gran kids. Charli Ann has an appointment at 7:30 tomorrow for an MRI so I can go with them.

I am scheduled on next Tuesday to have a porta-cath put in by Dr. Coats in the afternoon. I will have a definite time on Monday.

May God's blessings be on each of you this Easter season. I love you all.

Oncologist Appt.

After the consultation with Dr. Hunter in KC, Dr. Honeycutt has changed the protocol for treatment.

Starting on the 20th of April, I will be seen by dr. for exam. Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday I will be in office for treatment. The new treatment will take a couple hours everyday. The new chemo drug is fosfamide. This drug can cause severe bladder problems so will then be given Mesna to protect bladder. This needs to be continuously given for 72 hours so will wear a pump when I leave the office. On Friday, in the afternoon I will go back in to have the pump disconnected. I will then have two weeks off and start over again. There is the possiblity that I will need to have 8 treatments instead of 6. I will have a port put in sometime next week. I have education on chemo next Wednesday afternoon so have a lot going on.

I am a little overwhelmed this afternoon, so will try and get some rest.

Healing Service

Love bears all thing, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends. And now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; and the greatest of these is love.
1 Cor.13:7-8,13

Last evening this scripture was one of many that was shared as my church invited those who love me to join in prayer for my healing. I was overwhelmed by the presence of more than 45 friends. I felt enveloped in their love and prayers for me. The service included communion, laying on of hands, and anointing with oil. I assisted Pastor Julia in distributing communion to those that I also love. What a gift that was for me. We were all blessed when Mike Will shared a song he has written about the presence of God. It is beautiful and fills my heart with strength and peace. Mike sang this song to my immediate family as we gathered for prayer just before Chuck's memorial service. Praise be to God for His continual provision in all our lives.

As we closed the evening, I shared briefly what it meant to me to have all of them there. I also told of my struggle with depression, sadness and fear of what is to come. I then told them about asking God for a sign of His presence in my life. God who is faithful answered! My family had a dogwood tree planted in the city park (right out my back gate) in memory of Chuck. Monday morning as I sat at the dining room table I thought about going to the park to see the tree closely. As I gazed out the door I could see that it is the ONLY tree in the park that is in full blossom. I believe that is God's message to me that He is with me always. Glory be to God!

At 11AM this morning I have an appointment with my oncologist in Columbia. Tomorrow afternoon I have an appointment with my surgeon. Pray for God's wisdom for both times.

HOME

I was unable to pull up the blog sight while in KC since I am slow at all this computer stuff. Sorry!

A week ago today my son-in-law, Clint and a friend of his drove up to pick me up and drive my car back to KC so I would have transportation. I am so grateful because I was able to get out and about and gain some strength and independence.

Tuesday, Jenn, Nicole, and myself saw Dr. Verda Hunter-Hicks the top specialist in KC for my type of cancer. She basically agreed with the protocol established in Columbia, but was going to call the dr. in Columbia. I have an appointment at 11AM on Wednesday with her (Honeycut). Thursday I will be seeing the surgeon and hope she releases me, so we can get started with the treatments.

All of the birthday celebrations (Charli, Nicole, and Ben) went well. My brothers and one sister-in-law from northern Iowa came down. Ann flew in from Richmond, Va. I really missed my sister Denise who was unable to attend. A lot of emotions went into all the visits. God has blessed me with a wonderful family that loves me dearly.

I drove myself home today and am very tired. I listened to a CD made by special friends (Andy, Brooke and Kristen) as I drove home. It is a recording of Christian music that touches me deeply. Andy and Kristen are young adult children of very special friends from church. Both of them participated in Chuck's memorial. Brooke is Andy's wife. As I listened to the words of each song I was reminded of how God is always with us and He never leaves us alone. Praise be to God!

Travel

I woke up with severe nausea this morning. I have eaten some toast, tried an egg and had half a cup of coffee, so far so good. I have two loads of laundry going. I am packed for the week. This was so hard to do since my decision making has slowed considerably. I am sure I forgot things but will make do.

My son-in-law, Clint, and a friend of his are driving over to pick me up this morning. Due to bad weather yesterday Nicole was unable to come. Today is Charli Ann's 2nd birthday. I hope I am feeling better when I get there so I can take part in the celebration.

I am positive the nausea is all emotional so PRAY that I can find inner peace. There is a lot of emotion tied into Charli's birthday (today), Nicole's (31), and Ben's (2nd). My sister, Ann, is flying in for the celebration. for Ben's first party. All my brothers and one sister-in-law are also coming. I wish my sister, Denise, could be with us but she has three small children. I am praying we will all be blessed and God will be glorified as we spend time together.

Pray for the appointment (10 AM) Tuesday for the second opinion. May God's wisdom prevail.

FREE

Home health care released me yesterday so I am free to be out and about more. I was so happy that I was able to go to Lenten services last night. It felt so good to be back with family and friends.
I also slept 7 hours last night which I am praying gives me more energy today. Plans for this day include riding to Columbia with a friend so I can pick up my records to take to UMKC next Tuesday and if I am not nauseous out for a bit to eat.
May God bless each of you with what will draw youcloser to Him. He has been with me always and continues to be faithful.

Second Opinion

I have an appointment next Tuesday, March 31, at 10 AM. I will be seeing an oncologist at UMKC. Pray for God's wisdom and peace for me and my children.

I slept better last night. I am still having some nausea which is a result of nerves. I did talk to doctor office yesterday and they gave me some suggestions to help with that. A lot of what is going on is me learning yet again that I am not in control. I must rest in the Lord and trust in His provision for my life. I must continue to do the things I can do to help with healing my own body. Pray for me as I continue to rest in Him.

New DO

Thought you might enjoy seeing the new me. I decided I would take a little bit of control and start preparing for less hair to care for. Basically it is wash and wear.

I slept a little better last night. I took half a Zanax early evening and that stopped the nausea and helped me relax enough to go to sleep. I got up around 6 so much better rest. Still waiting for home health care to come today. Can't go for a walk until they have been here. I did walk early this morning. The wind is very strong now so lots of pollen in the air.

Thank you for all your love and support. Each of you are very important to me.

Sunday, March 22, 2009

Weekends are always very hard for me. I really have to work hard to keep myself going. Now it is even worse. Part of it is that I just want to move forward and get all of this over with so I can live a healthy life. This waiting is so hard.

I am so blessed by all of you who love me and are walking this journey with me, but I really miss Chuck. I miss the hugs, the silly smile, the way he pretended not to listen to me, even as he heard every word. Yesterday Jenn, Nate, Amanda and I went to the cemetery to put out the daffodils. Nate decided I am going to live another 49 years, from his mouth to God's ears.

Jenn helped me change dressings and wound is getting smaller. MaryAnne, my friend, neighbor and sister-in-Christ is sick so she is unable to help with the dressing. Praying she is better today.

PRAYER NEEDS:
Ambian did not make any difference in sleep. I took it at 9ish, was up 11,1, 3-6. I am tired but do not sleep during the day. I do try to rest in the afternoon from 1-3.

Nausea still hanging on. I know it is nerves and hope that when Lexapro kicks in (10 days) that this will get better. I am eating small meals.

Healing for incision.

Second opinion appointment.

Family and their individual way in which they are handling all of this. May GOD'S PEACE, STRENGTH AND JOY FILL EACH OF US.

Pray

I did not sleep well last night. I am very nauseous this morning so need energy and peace. Pray for God's peace and strength to fill me.

Friday, March 20, 2009

What a busy day! I left the house at 7:30 am when my friend, Linda, picked me up for a doctor appointment with the radiation specialist. His name is Dr. Bryer. I had another physical and good conversation. His suggestion was 25-28 treatments in the pelvic area. This would not start until three weeks after chemo is finished. He also suggested I start taking Lexapro, an anti-depressant. I agreed that I was struggling and that this drug worked well for me after Chuck died. He also gave me Ambian which I will not take until Jenn is here to see how I do with it. I did take it in hospital and had no problems but want to make sure I am okay with it here at home.

I met with Dr. Honeycut's nurse, Jeannie, to ask her to set up a second opinion at UMKC the week of the 30th. We discussed wigs, haircuts and other important things......

I have an appointment at 1pm on Monday to get a short haircut to try to prepare for what is to come. I will probably investigate wigs next week.

All of this is overwhelming to me. I am very tired tonight. I feel weak so will crash early. I understand getting the proper rest is important.

I did receive a wonderful sdurprise today from my sister, Denise, who lives in California. For my 60th birthday, she sent 80 quilt squares to my girls and they collected messages from friends, returned them to her and she made me a beautiful quilt. It has taken on an even more special meaning now as I snuggle in it and remember how many love me. THANK YOU, Denise.
May each of us truly appreciate the gift of time we have and tell all those we love how special they are.

May God grant me continued peace which does surpass all understanding. I trust He is going to work powerfully through my life as I face each new day.

Dr. Appointment news

Today I met Dr. Pamela Honeycut, my oncologist. The appointment was three hours long. She was very thorough and did a good job of explaining my unique situation. I have been diagnosed with undifferentiated endometrial sarcoma. It had not spread into the muscle of the uterine wall. There was involvement with lymph nodes (3 removed). It is classified a stage III C. There is a high risk of recurrence. Best recommendation : (1) Chemo --Taxol/Carbystalin x 6 cycles. And (2) Radiation therapy to pelvis. GOAL to increase the chance of cure.

She explained that at this time they feel they removed all the cancer with the surgery. I still have an opening in my incision so therapy would not start until mid-April. I must be totally healed and have as much energy as possible.

God is in control. I am praying for His complete healing, wisdom, strength and His peace. Please continue to pray for my children as they struggle with this turn of events.